"Self-determination
theory…holds that human beings need three basic things in order to be content:
they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in
their lives; and they need to feel connected to others."
Sebastian Junger's Tribe is about the engrained
human need to belong. To be part of a group; to share experiences and feelings;
to be pulling in the same direction; to be one. More than anything, it’s why members
of the military feel lost and disillusioned upon returning to civilian life. It’s
why every retiring athlete says he’ll miss the camaraderie, “the guys in the locker
room”. It’s why people thrive in start-ups and small businesses but lose their focus
in the larger “machine”. Our society is not set up for sharing and communal living,
it’s set up for competition, scarcity, and property. We are constantly bombarded
with our differences―crime, income inequality, politics―while routinely ignoring
the things that make us the same. Why do we feel good when we donate our time
to help the less fortunate? Why do we get angry when we feel people don’t pull their
own weight and cheat the system? Why do so many people living in close quarters in poverty-stricken places
say they’re happy when the richest country in the world is full of loneliness, depression,
and anxiety? Because that’s the way we’ve evolved; it’s part of what it means
to be human. We all have a need for connection; we need to be part of a tribe.
