Dear Baseball, if you're serious about trying to appeal to a younger generation, go ahead and do away with the singing of God Bless America during the seventh-inning stretch. You’re patriotic. We get it. Enough pageantry.

While you’re at it you might want to look into taking two innings off the game, cutting the national anthem, and about a month off the season.

You know that get up and go feeling? The one you get after you've had your morning coffee and you feel invincible? I get that, often I get that. But while I feel like going out to take on the world, I'm never quite sure how.

You know how some people look exactly the same in every picture? Dear those people, I know you're trying to look perfect, but get a new face. 

Sometimes I think about all the girls, okay there are probably only a few, who think “Wow, good thing I didn't end up with him.” Yeah you really dodged a bullet there.

Walter the cat leads a far more interesting life than I do.

I'm tired of saying congratulations. Weddings, graduations, kids. I'm happy for you all however I'm tired of the endless stream of good-for-you's that I feel required to dole out.  Why do I feel the need to add to your good fortune by liking your honeymoon photos? How about you send me a pat on the back for getting out of bed today?

I bet many of you haven't gone a single day without talking to another person. I've gone many days on many occasions. 

If you haven't lived alone, it's kinda nice. If you have, it kinda sucks.

It doesn't matter. He owned her. He could've done anything with her. He could've killed her and there was not a law in the country that protected her and that is the more important dynamic.

Ken Burns discussing his 1997 film Thomas Jefferson and whether descendents of Sally Hemmings are in fact descended from Thomas Jefferson.

According to more recent DNA evidence, they were. Further, Sally Hemmings was in fact a half-sister of Thomas Jefferson's deceased wife. That is to say Thomas Jefferson's father-in-law also had his way with the help. Scratch that, not help, slave.

My phone has a MySpace link on it. Seriously. MySpace. Too young to remember MySpace? It was a social networking website similar to Facebook but much worse. It was somehow worse than Facebook. Which reminds me Facebook used to be okay before their stock went public and they became an ad-filled, money making machine that turned everybody off. But yeah I have an old phone. Mostly because I don't want and can't use a touchscreen device without heavy levels of frustration.

I bought a bed about three years ago. It's really nice, memory foam and it has those drawers underneath for storing your blankets, sweatshirts, off-season clothing. It's the first bed I ever bought. First time since living with my parents, scratch that, since living in a dorm that I've slept on a real bed. That is, not a mattress and box spring on the floor.  No one has ever slept there but me.