Like>Love

 If "like" is logical and "love" is illogical, maybe we should give more weight to the former.

Tribe

"Self-determination theory…holds that human beings need three basic things in order to be content: they need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others."

Sebastian Junger's Tribe is about the engrained human need to belong. To be part of a group; to share experiences and feelings; to be pulling in the same direction; to be one. More than anything, it’s why members of the military feel lost and disillusioned upon returning to civilian life. It’s why every retiring athlete says he’ll miss the camaraderie, “the guys in the locker room”. It’s why people thrive in start-ups and small businesses but lose their focus in the larger “machine”. Our society is not set up for sharing and communal living, it’s set up for competition, scarcity, and property. We are constantly bombarded with our differences―crime, income inequality, politics―while routinely ignoring the things that make us the same. Why do we feel good when we donate our time to help the less fortunate? Why do we get angry when we feel people don’t pull their own weight and cheat the system? Why do so many people living in close quarters in poverty-stricken places say they’re happy when the richest country in the world is full of loneliness, depression, and anxiety? Because that’s the way we’ve evolved; it’s part of what it means to be human. We all have a need for connection; we need to be part of a tribe.

Living for praise is empty and self-destructive.

-J.D. Remy, M.D. in Ballad of a Sober Man

The "Actually" Guy

About forty times a day, unable to avoid listening to my parents' conversation from the other room, I feel the need to chime in. In all but the most egregious examples, I try to ignore them and move on. Occasionally I empty my inventory of "actuallys" later in the day. Mostly, my ideas are left unsaid and eventually forgotten. 

It's annoying to have this much insight; no one wants to learn from the "actually" guy.

Note to Self

Note to self: No one cares what you ate for dinner. Tell them what you were thinking; tell them how it felt.

 I'm finding, in recent years, that I'm drawn to anyone who pays me attention. 

Sometimes I think I should be out, in public, all of the time. So people can see me; so people are forced to know that I, and people like me, exist.