In 2011 I weighed 144 pounds. I've lost about 30, give or take.

I don't remember the last time I walked up or down a flight of stairs. I like to think it's still possible, if I had to.

I bought the fourth vehicle of my life: Saab 900, Audi Coupe Quattro, Subaru Legacy, Dodge Grand Caravan. Yuck.

If you're ever wondering how I'm doing, and you haven't seen me in a while: I'm doing worse.

I can't talk you off a ledge. I need you to talk me off one.