I'm inconceivably, torturously bored at the moment.

Go ahead and assume that every photo you see online has been altered.

Do you feel jealousy for the people that appear to have more, or sympathy for those who seem to have less?

Five minutes into shopping for some wheelchair accessories - cell phone mount, cup holder, fold-out table, etc - I remembered how much I hate shopping on Amazon.

If you're constantly retelling jokes from TV shows or movies, you're not funny. Most people are not funny. You don't need to entertain us. You should stop trying.

It seems like I should be able to opt out of ads that don't pertain to me. It seems that the advertisers would want me to do just that, and spend their marketing dollars more effectively. Yes, I do watch the occasional car video on YouTube, I am male, and in my mid-thirties, but I'm not in the market for a Ford or Lincoln. I'd love to pretend I'm going to buy some sweet new ride; I'd love to be wooed for my automotive dollar. But I'm afraid you're wasting your money, and I'd like to be able to help. 

Acknowledgments

Finally, I must thank my friends and family for reading draft after draft of this manuscript...

Sebastian Junger in The Perfect Storm