This may seem hard to believe, but it's absolutely true

Sometimes I think that someway, somehow, someday I could get better. I try to imagine what that would be like. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to run, or to ride a bike, or to approach a set of stairs without feelings of fear and anxiety. I have a tough time remembering what it was like to put on a shirt with ease. It's hard for me to believe that I could once do all of these things. The idea that I could jump out of bed, throw on my shirt and pants, and run out the door with a freshly tied pair of sneakers is so foreign to me that if it were to happen the shock might just kill me.