On Bullying

I was a small kid.  I'm a small grown-up.  I was always the shortest (not one of the shortest, the shortest) kid in my class throughout elementary, middle, and most of high school.  And I was bullied.  By kids in the neighborhood and by kids in school.  By "friends" and by kids I barely knew.  And always by kids that were bigger and older than me.  I used to dread the bus ride home.

Sometimes it was mean spirited and sometimes it seemed almost friendly.  Kids don't think.  They joke and laugh and draw attention to themselves.  They point and laugh and you feel alone; isolated from the crowd.  It's all such fun.

Why do people stand by and let these things happen?  Throughout society, so many people have a "not my problem" mentality.  We turn a blind eye to those in trouble.

More oversight isn't the answer, for so many reasons. 

Policing the activity won't change the way it is received by those around us.

Standing up to the bully is not the answer, at least not alone.

We need to stand up to bullying together.  As children and as adults.  Attitudes and actions can change if the majority wants it so. 

Life is about incentives.  Bullies have an incentive to continue their actions if they are rewarded with attention, with laughter, and with popularity.  If kids (and people) get a positive outcome out of bullying, it will continue. 

We need to stop that.  We need to stop rewarding bullies.

The innocent bystanders, the other kids on the bus, the majority who are not involved, need to get involved.  Not one kid trying to be a hero, all of us need to stand up.

With time we can change behavior.  Life is all about incentives.  If we can change outcomes we can change behavior.

We need to stop following the crowd and stand up for ourselves.  And we need to do it together.